“Everything’s numb below the waist. He’s hit me three times. I didn’t get him once. Elapsed time - ten seconds. The man knows more about hand-to-hand fighting than I’ll ever learn in a hundred years. Makes me feel like a chump.”
The Amazing Spider-Man #534
PETER: What am I focusing, exactly?
STEVE: Your chi.
PETER: My “chee?”
PETER: Well, no problem there. I’m a chi whiz. Get it? A … Y’know, I’m way funnier when I’m wearing the mask. Can I, maybe, go put it on?
Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #1 (2005), Peter David (writing) and Mike Wieringo (pencils).
Mary Jane enlists Steve’s help to get Peter to hone his skills. It goes about as well as you’d expect. Though MJ at least turned out to be pretty good at the tai chi thing.
(submitted by mr26)
[Aunt May, upon meeting Steve Rogers, has the same reaction that most of us would.]
Steve: It’s an honor to meet you, ma’am. Your nephew has told us so much about you.
Aunt May: …He has?
Steve: Very few people are strong enough to bear the secret that you carry. You’ve guided him into becoming a fine young man, and that’s a great accomplishment.
Aunt May: It is? I mean…yes I mean…thank you. I—My late husband, Ben, saw you once, during the war. He was just a boy, out of MP school, but it meant so much to him.
Steve: Are those pictures of your husband?
Aunt May: Yes.
Steve: Perhaps you can show me sometime.
Aunt May: I…I’d be honored. Thank you.
Logan: Looks like old Red, White and Bloomers found himself a groupie.
Peter: Makes sense…They’re both from the same generation, right?
Logan: I suppose. So that’s your wife, right?
Peter: Huh? Huh what?
Logan: Waste of a good babe.
Logan: Just sayin’. That’s all.
—Amazing Spider-man 519
I love Peter’s family.
JMS Spidey is so wonderful.
-Marvel Age Spider-Man: Team Up #2
Peter, you ruin everything
30 Days of Marvel meme
Day #11: Your favorite power
Peter Parker’s ability to fuck up EVERYTHING
Poor Peter… No matter what he does, he somehow finds a way to fuck it up for himself and other people. Not really a power, per se, but still, you gotta hand it to the guy. He managed to mess up his marriage, almost get his aunt killed, AND get his future daughter and her comic series retconned. For shame, Peter Parker. For shame…